You can see a little video of her at:
http://www.onetruemedia.com/shared?p=36d7a78e743c2b07650ae8&skin_id=701&utm_source=otm&utm_medium=email>
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Saturday, August 18, 2007
Pray For Haiti this storm season!
Catagory 4 hurricane called "Dean", it must be awful there right now. Please pray our orphanage is spared from damage and the people are safe.
Thursday, August 16, 2007
August 2007 update picture!
This month I cried when I opened this picture. She looks older, and she has a runny nose. I want her home, sometimes I feel like my heart will break from not being able to care for her. In moments of great frustration, I wonder what it would cost to live in Haiti for a while...(with the rest of my family, of course) just to be with my daughter, just so that she could get to know me and and could wrap her up and tell her it is all going to be ok.
Our home study has hit a few snags, they are things we can overcome but the delays are painful. Every extra step is us costing time, time that we will not be able to have her home. We expected to submit our Dossier to Haiti (The last step in our hands) in October, but now it is looking for like February since we have to wait for our 2008 tax return (2007 does not show enough income) We also will need to finish some work on our home that we did not expect would need to be done. We had such high hopes of bringing her home next summer. We know God is in control, he knew our income, none of this is a surprise to him.
I have to admit I am struggling a bit. The reasons are obvious, my prayer time, time in the word, and time of sacrifice have not been near what they should. I have been here before but I feel like my prayers are hitting the ceiling, my praise is half-hearted. I do not want to be here, I argue with myself because on the one hand I feel like it has been a long time since I heard from God and on the other I know that even when I sit down to pray for take out my bible that my thoughts stray and I find it hard to concentrate. I wish I could remember how I have worked through this before... I genuinely want God's direction, His desires but my every step and action seems to betray that. I want to shout out...What is wrong with me??? Funny...its not a faith issue! I know God cares about me! It is not a belief issue...my belief is strong! It is more like when you sit down with a good friend and then don't know what to say. It feels awful. When I am out of touch with God it affects my marriage, my relationship with my kids, my desire to help people, my desire to simply do the things that are right.
I have plenty of blessings to be positive about! Even her adoption is a positive thing. I am not sad about the events of life or looking for sympathy... I would guess most of us, as Christians have felt ar from God, even at times when it was not logical. I know I have been amazed how, even in these times of spiritual low-ness God has come through for me in some really big ways. It makes me feel humble, guilty, undeserving, but it also demonstrates just how much God loves me. It is the flip side to the question of why sometimes we can pray and fast, and read the word, and do everything it seems God would desire and yet have worldly disappointments!
Still, I want to be on a flight to Haiti. It is not that I do not love and appreciate my children at home, I do! But one is missing, just as if she had been taken from me. The emotions are unexpected, and sometimes I am so overwhelmed by them. It does not make sense.
This week I am planning Anna and Zaia's birthday parties. Out of the blue it hit me that Sophia will have her next birthday at the orphanage, with little fanfare and certainly without the growing stack of birthday cards and daily arriving gifts. She will be five, all by her self.
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
Thursday, August 2, 2007
Something fun...
After 3 really long and rather serious posts, I thought I would direct you over to something sweet... My littlest chef...Zaia. (just click on the previous text)
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
If we were not adopting from Haiti...
I love that we are adopting from Haiti. I love that is is close to the US, that we should be able to visit, and that some day, if Sophia is interested in seeing her country we would be able to take her there.
However, IF we were not adopting from Haiti, or IF someday we wanted to adopt again (gasp, Sean would wring my neck for even mentioning it) I would want to adopt from Hong Kong.
Yesterday I was going through some papers from our agency and the country information was listed. I was curious and looked up some of the information.
While China is flooded with American adoption applications and adoptions can take 3-4 years and cost as much as $40,000, Hong Kong is a place few Americans have considered. In the past few years adoptions from Hong Kong averaged 20-30 a year vs. the more than 6000 a year adopted from China.
The children available from Hong Kong are rarely infants, they are children currently in the Hong Kong foster system. This means that these children have already been passed up for adoption by family members and other Hong Kong/Chinese nationals. Nearly all the children have some type of special need, in fact non-Asian couples will not be considered for adoption of healthy kids!
The special needs vary and can range from surgically correctable issues such as cleft-palate and club foot, to cerebral palsy, to the many, many children available with down syndrome.
The reasons I would like to adopt from Hong Kong are:
These children have very little chance of finding homes. Their own country has determined they are not fit to be adopted by nationals of Hong Kong or China!
Kong Kong adoptions are very inexpensive when compared to other programs. Our agency estimates $10-13,000 including all paperwork and the home study! There are many grants available through agencies that place special needs kids, often as much as $5-6,000.
I first knew I wanted to adopt internationally after visiting a friend in Mongolia. When I returned home we found out that adopting from Mongolia would be somewhat difficult and very expensive although Holt international does have a Mongolian adoption program. We ultimately adopted through the US foster care system but knew an international adoption was likely in our future. Hence this adoption from Haiti now. What an education it has been!
If you are considering adoption, please take the time to learn about where, and more importantly, who you are adopting from. Do not assume that taking a child from a poor country is always in the best interest of every child. Children who are without parents or living in orphanages need homes and families! There are many programs where you can adopt these children, including healthy infants. There a also a number of new programs that essentially operate the same as domestic adoptions. American families apply to the agency and create a folder to advertise themselves to birth mothers. Then agency personnel in the country of choice seek out poor pregnant women (and often their husbands) and show them these folders with pictures of the life they could "provide" for their children. These families may live in small houses with dirt floors or may have never ridden in a car. When they are shown pictures of a family in a 2 story house with 2 new cars parked in front of green manicured park-like lawns they suddenly feel that they must give their child this great opportunity in America, even if it means never seeing or having contact with their child again. Recently I read a post on an online board that stated "I chose international adoption because I did not want to have to deal with birth-parents". All children have "birth parents" some are simply easier to ignore.
Perhaps you agree, or perhaps you feel that if a family is willing to give up their child that child will be better with another family. I disagree. We may know that life in America has its own troubles, but many people in developing countries believe that America is a place where no misfortune exists. It is easy to see why, despite all our whining about health care, every American has access to 24 hour emergency care and no one is ever turned away in the case of serious injury or illness. Our hospitals and clinics are clean and generally well staffed. Most American families own at least 2 cars, what we consider a modest wage for a year may be well over what some families earn in a lifetime! These families may daily battle poverty, illness, violence, lack of education and live in a single room with a dozen other family members. Does this somehow make us better parents? Does it mean that they shouldn't have the joy of raising children? We are very quick to assume these children are "unwanted" but this is based on an American understanding of culture and values!
In my opinion it is unethical to advertise adoption by American parents. Were we being totally honest, along with the pretty pictures, financial documents and promises of riches and education unattainable to the population being targeted, perhaps we should include our divorce statistics, ridiculously high debt ratios, or the fact that seemingly half of Americans take some sort of anti-depressant to cope with our "perfect" world. I am extremely grateful to be an American. I cry at the National anthem and songs like God Bless America, however I do not believe there is value in using propaganda to provide children for the booming American adoption business.
Some of these same issues exist withing the domestic adoption business of the US, and in no way do I have the solution for either problem. I also do not want to deter families from adopting the children around the world who are currently waiting for families! I know thi
s post will be very controversial and I hope I have not hurt any feelings. I believe adoption of orphans is so important, whether they are international or within our own foster care system! But I also think we need to look deep inside ourselves to discover the motives for these adoptions. It is OK to want a baby! Adoption has been the best answer to matching children who need homes with families who want children since the beginning of time. It is the corruption and coercion I object to. So, if and when you plan to adopt please sincerely research who has given up this child so that you may call them yours.
However, IF we were not adopting from Haiti, or IF someday we wanted to adopt again (gasp, Sean would wring my neck for even mentioning it) I would want to adopt from Hong Kong.
Yesterday I was going through some papers from our agency and the country information was listed. I was curious and looked up some of the information.
While China is flooded with American adoption applications and adoptions can take 3-4 years and cost as much as $40,000, Hong Kong is a place few Americans have considered. In the past few years adoptions from Hong Kong averaged 20-30 a year vs. the more than 6000 a year adopted from China.
The children available from Hong Kong are rarely infants, they are children currently in the Hong Kong foster system. This means that these children have already been passed up for adoption by family members and other Hong Kong/Chinese nationals. Nearly all the children have some type of special need, in fact non-Asian couples will not be considered for adoption of healthy kids!
The special needs vary and can range from surgically correctable issues such as cleft-palate and club foot, to cerebral palsy, to the many, many children available with down syndrome.
The reasons I would like to adopt from Hong Kong are:
These children have very little chance of finding homes. Their own country has determined they are not fit to be adopted by nationals of Hong Kong or China!
Kong Kong adoptions are very inexpensive when compared to other programs. Our agency estimates $10-13,000 including all paperwork and the home study! There are many grants available through agencies that place special needs kids, often as much as $5-6,000.
I first knew I wanted to adopt internationally after visiting a friend in Mongolia. When I returned home we found out that adopting from Mongolia would be somewhat difficult and very expensive although Holt international does have a Mongolian adoption program. We ultimately adopted through the US foster care system but knew an international adoption was likely in our future. Hence this adoption from Haiti now. What an education it has been!
If you are considering adoption, please take the time to learn about where, and more importantly, who you are adopting from. Do not assume that taking a child from a poor country is always in the best interest of every child. Children who are without parents or living in orphanages need homes and families! There are many programs where you can adopt these children, including healthy infants. There a also a number of new programs that essentially operate the same as domestic adoptions. American families apply to the agency and create a folder to advertise themselves to birth mothers. Then agency personnel in the country of choice seek out poor pregnant women (and often their husbands) and show them these folders with pictures of the life they could "provide" for their children. These families may live in small houses with dirt floors or may have never ridden in a car. When they are shown pictures of a family in a 2 story house with 2 new cars parked in front of green manicured park-like lawns they suddenly feel that they must give their child this great opportunity in America, even if it means never seeing or having contact with their child again. Recently I read a post on an online board that stated "I chose international adoption because I did not want to have to deal with birth-parents". All children have "birth parents" some are simply easier to ignore.
Perhaps you agree, or perhaps you feel that if a family is willing to give up their child that child will be better with another family. I disagree. We may know that life in America has its own troubles, but many people in developing countries believe that America is a place where no misfortune exists. It is easy to see why, despite all our whining about health care, every American has access to 24 hour emergency care and no one is ever turned away in the case of serious injury or illness. Our hospitals and clinics are clean and generally well staffed. Most American families own at least 2 cars, what we consider a modest wage for a year may be well over what some families earn in a lifetime! These families may daily battle poverty, illness, violence, lack of education and live in a single room with a dozen other family members. Does this somehow make us better parents? Does it mean that they shouldn't have the joy of raising children? We are very quick to assume these children are "unwanted" but this is based on an American understanding of culture and values!
In my opinion it is unethical to advertise adoption by American parents. Were we being totally honest, along with the pretty pictures, financial documents and promises of riches and education unattainable to the population being targeted, perhaps we should include our divorce statistics, ridiculously high debt ratios, or the fact that seemingly half of Americans take some sort of anti-depressant to cope with our "perfect" world. I am extremely grateful to be an American. I cry at the National anthem and songs like God Bless America, however I do not believe there is value in using propaganda to provide children for the booming American adoption business.
Some of these same issues exist withing the domestic adoption business of the US, and in no way do I have the solution for either problem. I also do not want to deter families from adopting the children around the world who are currently waiting for families! I know thi
s post will be very controversial and I hope I have not hurt any feelings. I believe adoption of orphans is so important, whether they are international or within our own foster care system! But I also think we need to look deep inside ourselves to discover the motives for these adoptions. It is OK to want a baby! Adoption has been the best answer to matching children who need homes with families who want children since the beginning of time. It is the corruption and coercion I object to. So, if and when you plan to adopt please sincerely research who has given up this child so that you may call them yours.
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