Racism, part 2. The lighter stuff...

Children are not by nature "racist" at least not by the the negative, judgemental connotations the word brings up. That is not to say children are not curious about differences! So, I thought I would share some humorous moments from our house.

Recently we were talking about Haiti. Anna, as usual, was asking dozens of questions. She was very interested in the differences in the way Haitians live vs. Americans. After talking for about 15 minutes Zaia spoke up. "Do they have heads"? She asked?!?!?!?! I stared at her and blinked..."The people of Haiti"? I asked? Her big innocent eyes looked at me, waiting sincerely for a response. After assuring her that the people did have heads and were really just like us, she continued to ask questions. "Do they have bones?... Toes? Do they wear clothes? Eat food?

Anna has been most curious about Sophia's hair. We recently were looking at a website to order some beads and accessories for the girls at the orphanage. The site had pages of ideas for styling "ethnic" hair. (I don't really get why that term is used...) Anna loved some of the styles and asked if I could make her hair like that. While some could be adapted, her hair is corn-silk fine and blond! So, when we said hello to a family at swimming lessons (that we had not previously met) a few days later she was overwhelmed by curiosity and dug her fingers into their daughters black hair!

Anna has a strong heart for missions and is very, very curious about the world. This, however often translates instead to "cultural insensitivity"by most of who are primed to see it that way. She makes innocent comments that have been misunderstood more than once. I was very grateful to a man from Africa who took time to answer her question "Kaluba? Why are you SO black"? and very uncomfortable when she asked another little girl "Are you Chinese or something, because you don't look like your Mom". (The girl and her mother were insulted and gave me dirty looks every class after that) She has also pointed out "Look Mom, this is the littlest old lady I have ever seen" once (running up and touching her) and yelled "Hola!" to a child on the playground who looked possibly Hispanic. While visiting the Atlanta Zoo she exclaimed loudly "There sure are a lot of Black people here!"

While somehow I must teach her about appropriate ways to ask her questions, I do not really want to quell her curiosity. Her observations and questions are valid, in fact I would rather she grows up appreciating the differences in many cultures. It would be a lamentable error to teach my children to ignore the customs, dress, food, or even appearance of those who seem to be "different" than us. However it would be far more regrettable to allow my children to believe that differences in appearance define the way that a person lives or believes.