I love that we are adopting from Haiti. I love that is is close to the US, that we should be able to visit, and that some day, if Sophia is interested in seeing her country we would be able to take her there.
However, IF we were not adopting from Haiti, or IF someday we wanted to adopt again (gasp, Sean would wring my neck for even mentioning it) I would want to adopt from Hong Kong.
Yesterday I was going through some papers from our agency and the country information was listed. I was curious and looked up some of the information.
While China is flooded with American adoption applications and adoptions can take 3-4 years and cost as much as $40,000, Hong Kong is a place few Americans have considered. In the past few years adoptions from Hong Kong averaged 20-30 a year vs. the more than 6000 a year adopted from China.
The children available from Hong Kong are rarely infants, they are children currently in the Hong Kong foster system. This means that these children have already been passed up for adoption by family members and other Hong Kong/Chinese nationals. Nearly all the children have some type of special need, in fact non-Asian couples will not be considered for adoption of healthy kids!
The special needs vary and can range from surgically correctable issues such as cleft-palate and club foot, to cerebral palsy, to the many, many children available with down syndrome.
The reasons I would like to adopt from Hong Kong are:
These children have very little chance of finding homes. Their own country has determined they are not fit to be adopted by nationals of Hong Kong or China!
Kong Kong adoptions are very inexpensive when compared to other programs. Our agency estimates $10-13,000 including all paperwork and the home study! There are many grants available through agencies that place special needs kids, often as much as $5-6,000.
I first knew I wanted to adopt internationally after visiting a friend in Mongolia. When I returned home we found out that adopting from Mongolia would be somewhat difficult and very expensive although Holt international does have a Mongolian adoption program. We ultimately adopted through the US foster care system but knew an international adoption was likely in our future. Hence this adoption from Haiti now. What an education it has been!
If you are considering adoption, please take the time to learn about where, and more importantly, who you are adopting from. Do not assume that taking a child from a poor country is always in the best interest of every child. Children who are without parents or living in orphanages need homes and families! There are many programs where you can adopt these children, including healthy infants. There a also a number of new programs that essentially operate the same as domestic adoptions. American families apply to the agency and create a folder to advertise themselves to birth mothers. Then agency personnel in the country of choice seek out poor pregnant women (and often their husbands) and show them these folders with pictures of the life they could "provide" for their children. These families may live in small houses with dirt floors or may have never ridden in a car. When they are shown pictures of a family in a 2 story house with 2 new cars parked in front of green manicured park-like lawns they suddenly feel that they must give their child this great opportunity in America, even if it means never seeing or having contact with their child again. Recently I read a post on an online board that stated "I chose international adoption because I did not want to have to deal with birth-parents". All children have "birth parents" some are simply easier to ignore.
Perhaps you agree, or perhaps you feel that if a family is willing to give up their child that child will be better with another family. I disagree. We may know that life in America has its own troubles, but many people in developing countries believe that America is a place where no misfortune exists. It is easy to see why, despite all our whining about health care, every American has access to 24 hour emergency care and no one is ever turned away in the case of serious injury or illness. Our hospitals and clinics are clean and generally well staffed. Most American families own at least 2 cars, what we consider a modest wage for a year may be well over what some families earn in a lifetime! These families may daily battle poverty, illness, violence, lack of education and live in a single room with a dozen other family members. Does this somehow make us better parents? Does it mean that they shouldn't have the joy of raising children? We are very quick to assume these children are "unwanted" but this is based on an American understanding of culture and values!
In my opinion it is unethical to advertise adoption by American parents. Were we being totally honest, along with the pretty pictures, financial documents and promises of riches and education unattainable to the population being targeted, perhaps we should include our divorce statistics, ridiculously high debt ratios, or the fact that seemingly half of Americans take some sort of anti-depressant to cope with our "perfect" world. I am extremely grateful to be an American. I cry at the National anthem and songs like God Bless America, however I do not believe there is value in using propaganda to provide children for the booming American adoption business.
Some of these same issues exist withing the domestic adoption business of the US, and in no way do I have the solution for either problem. I also do not want to deter families from adopting the children around the world who are currently waiting for families! I know thi
s post will be very controversial and I hope I have not hurt any feelings. I believe adoption of orphans is so important, whether they are international or within our own foster care system! But I also think we need to look deep inside ourselves to discover the motives for these adoptions. It is OK to want a baby! Adoption has been the best answer to matching children who need homes with families who want children since the beginning of time. It is the corruption and coercion I object to. So, if and when you plan to adopt please sincerely research who has given up this child so that you may call them yours.
However, IF we were not adopting from Haiti, or IF someday we wanted to adopt again (gasp, Sean would wring my neck for even mentioning it) I would want to adopt from Hong Kong.
Yesterday I was going through some papers from our agency and the country information was listed. I was curious and looked up some of the information.
While China is flooded with American adoption applications and adoptions can take 3-4 years and cost as much as $40,000, Hong Kong is a place few Americans have considered. In the past few years adoptions from Hong Kong averaged 20-30 a year vs. the more than 6000 a year adopted from China.
The children available from Hong Kong are rarely infants, they are children currently in the Hong Kong foster system. This means that these children have already been passed up for adoption by family members and other Hong Kong/Chinese nationals. Nearly all the children have some type of special need, in fact non-Asian couples will not be considered for adoption of healthy kids!
The special needs vary and can range from surgically correctable issues such as cleft-palate and club foot, to cerebral palsy, to the many, many children available with down syndrome.
The reasons I would like to adopt from Hong Kong are:
These children have very little chance of finding homes. Their own country has determined they are not fit to be adopted by nationals of Hong Kong or China!
Kong Kong adoptions are very inexpensive when compared to other programs. Our agency estimates $10-13,000 including all paperwork and the home study! There are many grants available through agencies that place special needs kids, often as much as $5-6,000.
I first knew I wanted to adopt internationally after visiting a friend in Mongolia. When I returned home we found out that adopting from Mongolia would be somewhat difficult and very expensive although Holt international does have a Mongolian adoption program. We ultimately adopted through the US foster care system but knew an international adoption was likely in our future. Hence this adoption from Haiti now. What an education it has been!
If you are considering adoption, please take the time to learn about where, and more importantly, who you are adopting from. Do not assume that taking a child from a poor country is always in the best interest of every child. Children who are without parents or living in orphanages need homes and families! There are many programs where you can adopt these children, including healthy infants. There a also a number of new programs that essentially operate the same as domestic adoptions. American families apply to the agency and create a folder to advertise themselves to birth mothers. Then agency personnel in the country of choice seek out poor pregnant women (and often their husbands) and show them these folders with pictures of the life they could "provide" for their children. These families may live in small houses with dirt floors or may have never ridden in a car. When they are shown pictures of a family in a 2 story house with 2 new cars parked in front of green manicured park-like lawns they suddenly feel that they must give their child this great opportunity in America, even if it means never seeing or having contact with their child again. Recently I read a post on an online board that stated "I chose international adoption because I did not want to have to deal with birth-parents". All children have "birth parents" some are simply easier to ignore.
Perhaps you agree, or perhaps you feel that if a family is willing to give up their child that child will be better with another family. I disagree. We may know that life in America has its own troubles, but many people in developing countries believe that America is a place where no misfortune exists. It is easy to see why, despite all our whining about health care, every American has access to 24 hour emergency care and no one is ever turned away in the case of serious injury or illness. Our hospitals and clinics are clean and generally well staffed. Most American families own at least 2 cars, what we consider a modest wage for a year may be well over what some families earn in a lifetime! These families may daily battle poverty, illness, violence, lack of education and live in a single room with a dozen other family members. Does this somehow make us better parents? Does it mean that they shouldn't have the joy of raising children? We are very quick to assume these children are "unwanted" but this is based on an American understanding of culture and values!
In my opinion it is unethical to advertise adoption by American parents. Were we being totally honest, along with the pretty pictures, financial documents and promises of riches and education unattainable to the population being targeted, perhaps we should include our divorce statistics, ridiculously high debt ratios, or the fact that seemingly half of Americans take some sort of anti-depressant to cope with our "perfect" world. I am extremely grateful to be an American. I cry at the National anthem and songs like God Bless America, however I do not believe there is value in using propaganda to provide children for the booming American adoption business.
Some of these same issues exist withing the domestic adoption business of the US, and in no way do I have the solution for either problem. I also do not want to deter families from adopting the children around the world who are currently waiting for families! I know thi
s post will be very controversial and I hope I have not hurt any feelings. I believe adoption of orphans is so important, whether they are international or within our own foster care system! But I also think we need to look deep inside ourselves to discover the motives for these adoptions. It is OK to want a baby! Adoption has been the best answer to matching children who need homes with families who want children since the beginning of time. It is the corruption and coercion I object to. So, if and when you plan to adopt please sincerely research who has given up this child so that you may call them yours.
5 comments:
Waaaaah! I want to adopt so badly! Man, as soon as Gana finishes school we are going to consider it. I'd take a special needs child from Hong Kong!
Preach it sista!
Yeah, maybe I have been without adult companionship too long! SO glad Sean comes home tonight!!!
I just recently learned about Hong Kong too and was thinking the same thing. I've heard it can be only a couple thousand if you do it indedepently. I am adopting the "Fred" twins from FHG.
Wow!! Good for you! I LOVE this post.
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