Sean's school work has taken up nearly all his "spare" time. He comes home, eats dinner, reads the bible to the kids, blesses them, and then disappears into his study den until 11:30 or so. He has been making an effort to take one weekend day off, but we have not had a lot of time to just be together.
Wednesday night we had quite a few big thunderstorms roll through our area. The "surge protectors" we have on our computer and electronics are of questionable age and quality so we always unplug everything when storms are forecast. (Or at least after hearing the big "National Weather Service advisory alarm on the radio!)
Once kids were tucked into bed we walked outside to watch the storm approach. The clouds were moving really fast and the sky was that odd yellow that precedes a big thunderstorm. We sat out front and looked up at the sky. Just ahead of the dark mass of clouds were long streaks of bright silver, it was really beautiful and unlike anything I had seen before. It didn't occur to be to get a camera, of course. The storm moved over us but the rain did not come right away. We could see lighting jumping from cloud to could above us. The thunder remained distant and we just sat. Joe was outside playing in the front yard with a ball, quite content to have it all to himself. I leaned against Sean's shoulder and we did not talk. The wind came and began to blow the trees hard, and eventually with the first giant rain drops we went inside.
Eventually, sitting in our darkened living room after Joe was asleep we began to talk quietly. Rain pounded on out roof and we still watched lightning all around. We talked about the feelings of hurt and loss that seem almost misplaced considering we never knew this child outside of our hearts and a picture. We talked about the selfishness of wanting her for ourselves, after all, she is not lost, but has a family that loves her! We talked about what comes next; and about the frustration of not knowing the eternal purpose for things that do not make sense to us.
There are still a lot of questions, many that I suspect will never be answered. There are also still thousands of orphans in Haiti, and they still need families and homes. I have always been sort of a "get right back on the horse" type person. So... we will continue on. Referrals from Haiti can come very quickly, there are so many children waiting. So, hopefully... in the spirit of my very bi-polar blog... I will soon be announcing that there is a child (Boy or girl between the ages of 0-6 :-) and that we are delighted to call that child ours. Thank you for all your prayers, we feel very blessed by the outpouring of sympathy and support!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
My mom and I pass a little framed quote back and forth to one another as needed: "Sometimes He calms the storm. Sometimes He calms His child."
It is sometimes difficult to interpret the words of God. You know you are hearing His voice, but maybe are attributing the wrong signs to Him. There are signs, and there is coincidence. Until the end of the road, sometimes we can't know one from another. Persevere.
Post a Comment