While watching a video from our adoption agency (part 2 of the video mentioned in the last post) there is footage of a Sunday church service in Haiti. The same video shows the house of a family, the house has no roof, no windows, no furniture or plumbing. The floors are dirt, and I had to wonder where the family sleeps in the rainy season. Yet on Sunday morning the people from the village are joyfully running up the road to a mountain top church. Not only do they look excited to be there, but the men are in ties, the ladies in skirts and hats and earings, and the little girls have bows in their hair to match their darling dresses. I sat before my computer screen and cried. Not for the people of Haiti, but for my own family and church. I felt shame!
I do know know when or where or how they made the sacrifice to own Sunday clothing, and I do not believe a person would have been turned away or looked down upon if they did not own such clothing. But there is a respect, a level of honoring God present in that simple action that I do not believe to be present in the American church! When was the last time I joyfully prepared for church, so exuberant that I would run a long distance uphill in hot weather shouting God's Praises? Would I be willing to wear little more than rags tied together 6 days a week just to preserve the only dress I owned for Sunday? I do not know that I have this level of understanding of who God is. If I did... If I really believed that God was the maker of Heaven and Earth, sovereign over all my life, could I walk into his temple so casually? Would it not bother me that when I dressed that morning I had no thought other than to wear clothing suitable for our trip to the beach AFTER service was finished?
In Matthew 19:23-25 Jesus tells his disciples "I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." When the disciples heard this, they were greatly astonished and asked, "Who then can be saved?"
Those of us who live in America think of the rich as Bill Gates, or the faceless people who own the mansion on a hill near by. Perhaps I need to consider that all of America is rich. We have little need for reliance on God, and therefore little need to give him our respect. I have relied on God, but shamefully I tell you that I have never relied on him completely. I have given him my praises, but not without my own selfish thoughts.
I admit, even in this adoption, it is my own selfishness driving the process. Yes, I believe God is leading us to adopt, but I look at the pictures of these beautiful children and I want to save them. I want to see the look on our daughters face as she opens a closet full of clothes, or eats her first birthday cake. I want to see her grow into the awesome lady that she will become and feel like I was the one who made it possible. Does this honor God? I pray that somehow God can work in spite of my selfishness. That He alone creates the desires of my heart. For today, and everyday, let this be my solemn prayer.
I do know know when or where or how they made the sacrifice to own Sunday clothing, and I do not believe a person would have been turned away or looked down upon if they did not own such clothing. But there is a respect, a level of honoring God present in that simple action that I do not believe to be present in the American church! When was the last time I joyfully prepared for church, so exuberant that I would run a long distance uphill in hot weather shouting God's Praises? Would I be willing to wear little more than rags tied together 6 days a week just to preserve the only dress I owned for Sunday? I do not know that I have this level of understanding of who God is. If I did... If I really believed that God was the maker of Heaven and Earth, sovereign over all my life, could I walk into his temple so casually? Would it not bother me that when I dressed that morning I had no thought other than to wear clothing suitable for our trip to the beach AFTER service was finished?
In Matthew 19:23-25 Jesus tells his disciples "I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." When the disciples heard this, they were greatly astonished and asked, "Who then can be saved?"
Those of us who live in America think of the rich as Bill Gates, or the faceless people who own the mansion on a hill near by. Perhaps I need to consider that all of America is rich. We have little need for reliance on God, and therefore little need to give him our respect. I have relied on God, but shamefully I tell you that I have never relied on him completely. I have given him my praises, but not without my own selfish thoughts.
I admit, even in this adoption, it is my own selfishness driving the process. Yes, I believe God is leading us to adopt, but I look at the pictures of these beautiful children and I want to save them. I want to see the look on our daughters face as she opens a closet full of clothes, or eats her first birthday cake. I want to see her grow into the awesome lady that she will become and feel like I was the one who made it possible. Does this honor God? I pray that somehow God can work in spite of my selfishness. That He alone creates the desires of my heart. For today, and everyday, let this be my solemn prayer.
4 comments:
Wow.
I need to go have a cry.
Jenee! You touched me quite deeply. Not in the things you said, though they did touch me and I have often tried to convey those same feelings.
But the fact that YOU felt them and that YOU have responded to the Holy Spirit's revelation makes me give glory to our Heavenly Father. I hope you know that you are very dear to my heart. I give God thanks and praise that you are being sensitive to His leading and teaching -- and not in just this matter. I love you!
On a more general note: You know that I like dressing for church. THIS is why! I know that in one sense God doesn't care what I wear, but I also know that *I* do! I want to give God my best. I want the Lord's Day to be something special. I want it to be a celebration!
Oh Jenee, I thank you for you both for following the leading of the Holy Spirit in your life and for your honesty during the process.
You and your family are embarking on an amazing journey. My girls and I will be keeping your family in much prayer.
We love you guys & can't wait to meet (and play with) your newest member.
I thought I'd added you to my blogroll, and thought about you this morning and found I had not. Now I have lots of reading to make up for it.
I love your observations about the excitement these Brothers and Sisters in Christ share. I have to say, I slightly disagree with your closing statements, though. I think a heart formed by God WILL desire to do good, and that is your desire when you want to "save the children." God has chosen to do His will through man, and we are always to be ready to say "yes" and cooperate with His plan. So much better to do so joyfully, enthusiastically, than to do so grudgingly.
But thank you for this lesson, today. Next time I go to Church, I will remember these faithful Haitians, and try to be more like them.
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