Update: When it rains, it pours!

Thank you everyone for all of your prayers for Sean. His spirits are good! We are beginning to see signs of healing. He has a little more mobility in his arms and a little less pain in his shoulders. He is most grateful to be able to feed himself, brush his own teeth, etc. Funny how last week I wouldn't have thought to be grateful for that :) He has also been able to type some without too much pain so he can try and get back to his school work. It would be awful to get far behind or have to drop a class. He is really looking forward to graduating this summer. Holding a book in order to read it is still difficult, but I am trying to find creative solutions. In the morning he drinks his coffee out of a tall clear tumbler with a long red crazy straw!

I am sure I can thank the waiting room full of coughing, sneezing people as I waited in in hospital Friday for the fact that all of us are sick. I should have taken a bunch of vitamin C and other immune boosters when I got home. My sinuses feel like they are pushing my teeth out. Normally I would be whining to Sean about needing a hot bath and a nap! Joe has croup. That is just wrong. Poor kid cannot breath without sounding like he is gasping desperately for air and then coughing like a barking seal. He is fianally sleeping for a bit... I am going to try some onion poultices later tonight. I am grateful that he is my 4th child and I have gained the knowledge that croup, while sounding deadly, is really a reasonably minor illness.

We continue to pray about what God is doing with all this. Certainly I am reminded to be grateful for all we have! I feel a bit stuck in the mire...but a head cold can make you feel that way in the best of times. Every doctor who looks at Sean or his many x-rays, CAT-scans, MRIs, etc tells us how incredibly "lucky" we are. Perhaps, but I really believe God was protecting him, even directing us with this injury. We absolutely praise God that he is not dead or in a wheelchair! It is also changing the way we have thought sbout some things and opening some new opportunities. Since Sean is now able to sit up for a few hours at a time, he is doing all the homeschooling for now!

It is possible I will need to get a job. Sean is self-employed so we don't have any income right now. I have not had to look for a job in about 7 years! I have been teaching childbirth classes and working as a doula when I can, but I am yet to figure out how that translates into a job that can support us for a while. Not to mention making sure the kids are cared for and not putting too much stress on Sean at home. Kind of makes me wish I had finished nursing school! 3rd shift nursing sounds a lot better than third shift grocery bagging :) Not to mention is pays better...

I have so far avoided major emotional breakdown. My house is a complete diaster and I have a lot more questions than answers. Perhaps my sick kids are almost helping. As long as I just move from one mess to another, one project or runny nose or bedtime accident, or making odd smelling homemade cough syrup, or running to play practice, fall fittness, gathering Sean's prescriptions, reccords, doctors appointments, etc, etc, etc. It might never actually crash! Who needs sleep? Or sanity?

I can pretty much say, because it seems silly to keep the secret now. I was supposed to be going to Haiti next month. Ha! Again. I refuse to be beaten! So, evil Satan...I am not giving up on my family and my family includes Sophia! I may not see her this month or next, and it may seem like the road is not more difficult than ever but somehow, somehow we are going to bring her home. We are going to get through all of this, and we are going to be stronger and know more about where God is leading us.

Prayers for my Sean...

Yesterday Sean was injured at work. He has a relatively minor spinal injury and is still enjoying the hospitality and room service of Aurora Hospital. As of now he has to wear a lovely spinal collar and is in a tremendous amount of pain. We expect him to come home tonight but life is going to be very different around here for a while. We are thanking and praising God that the injury was not even slightly worse as they expect that he will fully recover. Another lb. of force could have put him in a wheelchair for life instead of inconveniencing us for a few weeks.

To all my praying Christian friends, we covet your prayers. Sean will not be able to work. Pray that somehow we find creative ways to make ends meet and see God's provision. Also pray for me as I care for him as well as my children and that he makes a supernaturally fast recovery. Next week when we meet with the neurologist I want to be a witness to the healing power of Jesus Christ, that we might say "Look what the Lord has done". I believe in miracles, and I believe that not only will be be able to take off his spinal collar in a week but that the scans will show no damage, no swelling. That Sean will have full use of his arms and hands and without pain.

I wanted to post a lovely picture of him in C-spine showing his forehead stitched from nose to hairline... but I took the picture with my phone and I have no idea how to get it from there to here!

Christmas in Haiti

So far God has blessed our steps and shown us continually that His plan for our family includes our Sophia. In fact God seems to be showing us a lot about His direction for our lives at the moment!

There is a plan in the works to bless the children at For His Glory Orphanage in Port Au Prince, Haiti this Christmas. Would you please consider helping us be a part of that blessing?

I will be taking donations of infant formula and small inexpensive toys and God willing getting them to Haiti by Christmas. If you can donate items or cash please let me know ASAP. If you would like more information on how to help please let me know!

Event

Please join us tomorrow, Saturday October, 20th. Two men who are walking accross thr country to lead a prayer of repentance will be making a stop in Green Bay, WI! You can hear them speak, meet them in person, and most importantly sign the "National Prayer of Repentance". For more info see www.RU4one.com

Sat., October 20th @ 6:00 PM First Assembly of God 1460 Shawano (at the corner of Shawano and Fisk.) 6:00 PM. Hope to see you there!

October Update Photo

To me it says "Are you ever coming to get me out of here"?

Melissa, Part 3

The drive home was only about an hour and a half, but it included a 2 lane mountain pass and our first try at feeding her with the g-tube!

We had shopped and shopped until we found a car seat with 2 sets of insertable pads to make it smaller and and still it seemed like she was too tiny for it. The clasps seemed way too big and she so tiny!

We stopped at a McDonalds to feed her (not a lot of choices, it was pretty much that or Carl's Jr. and the McDonalds had better lighting) The really weird thing was that Sean's Dad and step Mom were there! At the time I am sure they just thought we were totally crazy. They left after getting their food and we returned to the task at hand. It took both of us and a lot of worried effort but we managed to drip in the 2 oz she was supposed to eat. Thus beginning the ritual for every two hours for the next year.

It was an adventure, she had to eat every two hours, had Doctors appointments almost as often and she projectile vomited at nearly every feeding. At night she would sometimes stop breathing and during the day when she threw up she would aspirate the formula into her lungs and need those upside-down baby back thrusts. Sean and I used that infant CPR training almost daily. More than once we were insure she was really going to breathe again and twice we called 911. Anna was only 2 but she remembers me giving chest thrusts and breathing for her baby sister.

It was an isolating experience and there is no question why I had not noticed it had been an awful long time since my last cycle. I was feeling exhausted and nauseous and assuming it was due to the months since I last slept a whole night. But three positive pregnancy tests in a row were all it took to convince Sean we were about to be a family of 5.

Melissa's feedings got worse. I had run out of the donated breastmilk and we were feeding her a $60 per can prescription formula. My kitchen became a full hospital-grade sterilization center. We had given up on the advice of dozens of doctors and began turning away her therapists. We made a video of the whole feeding experience that was shown to a judge who granted us full authority over her care.

It was Anna's 3rd birthday, Melissa was just past her 8th month and weighed all of 11 pounds when a round cherubic girl named Zaia was born in my living room. She was just over 9 1/2 pounds. It was Wednesday at 8:00 AM. Melissa's had court the next morning at 8.00.

We contacted our social worker but were told that our presence in court was mandatory if we were to be named as her permanent placement. So, at 8:00 AM, almost exactly 24 hours after Zaia's birth we packed our bags with all of Melissa's feeding supplies, diapers for both girls, cord care supplies for Zaia and postpartum stuff for Mom and went to court. Sean asked if we could be shown some favor but was told we would have to wait to be called in order. At 4:45 we were called in. The last case of the day. It was all going to be worth it because today we would call her ours forever.

The judge stood and then sat. He read a motion by the mother for a new attorney and a new petition for her and the father to regain custody. He granted them 6 months and twice a week visitation.

Part 4...soon!

Melissa Part 2

OK, enough with the hate mail :-) I know I said "tomorrow" and then skipped a few days!

After scrubbing in to the NICU and putting on gowns and masks, etc. we were led in by one of the night nurses. She was very excited that Melissa was going to be adopted. It seemed like we walked forever, I had no idea a NICU could be so big. She was in the last plastic little isolette at the far back corner. We took a breath and looked in... my first thought was "This cannot be the correct baby!" She looked just like snow white. (the clear plastic box surrounding her added to the effect) She had lots and lots of black hair. Not wisps of baby hair but thick shiny hair, as black as an onyx stone. She had tiny little rosy lips. I had expected the cleft lip, but instead it was only the palate so her face was absolute perfection.

You can imagine our shock! Every picture my brain had inadvertently drawn was completely wrong. We stared at this beautiful fragile looking child with all her monitors and tubes, her preemie sized diaper falling off, and this little shiny heart lying on her chest. We looked at one another, we had no idea what to do now! The nurse laughed and began to detach her from all the electrodes and tubing. She offered us chairs and then she handed us our daughter. She felt so little! I didn't quite know what to do with her. As we stared at her she opened her eyes, they were so big and as black as her hair! So black that you could not find a pupil. She didn't cry. We held her and looked at her for hours, praying over her and welcoming her to our family.

Leaving that night was impossibly hard. I wanted to go back right away in the morning but we had a 2 year old at home and she was not allowed in. A few nights later we visited again, this time taking Anna and an adult friend to play with her in the waiting room. We could not take her home until two days after the g-tube was put in so we would have to wait another week. The surgeon explained what he would be doing and how she would be fed. A nurse heard that Anna was just outside in the special waiting room for families with NICU babies. She wrapped up Melissa, hiding all her tubes and wires under the blanket and secretly whisked her out to meet her big sister! Anna was quite delighted as was our friend Chris who got to see her a full week before everyone else!

(Blogspot currently will not let me put a picture here. I'll try later)

The day we picked her up was surreal! We were shown how to feed her with the g-tube. I had done this in nursing school on adults with full bags and IV-pumps but never on an infant. She was fed by gravity, a very simple system where you poured formula or breastmilk into a larger tube which led to a smaller tube into her belly. We left with a bunch of formula samples, some tubing, and a complete lack of confidence!

As we walked out the door we were met with a mountain of hospital paperwork and a car-seat inspector. We kept looking at one another wondering if anyone else noticed we were just leaving with this baby. We drove away and let out big sighs of relief. It still seemed very odd that we had a new baby. We had a lot more to learn, including having to feed her once before we even got home!

Story continues with part three...soon!

All about Melissa - Part 1

This is our second adoption. If blogs were in existence when we adopted Melissa I was unaware, and probably to busy to blog anyway! In my family there are 3 great adoption stories (including Sophia) and 3 beautiful home births. this is an adoption blog...so we'll leave the birth stories for another time and place :) Today I want to tell Melissa's story.

Before Sean and I were married we talked about things we had to do in our lives. Adoption was one of those things. We welcomed our first biological daughter not long after our second anniversary and agreed that God's timing was perfect. Despite her very fussy countenance we were so delighted with her that I longed for a sibling right away. Just after her first birthday we rejoiced with news of a second baby but miscarried not long into the pregnancy. A doctor informed us we may never carry another child to term and advised a cocktail of drugs to induce early menopause. On the heels of a home birth and still breastfeeding this advice was not easily welcomed. Sean and I prayed together and he began nightly praying health over my body... his body in spirit.

The decision to adopt was so simple I cannot remember who brought it up or how it happened. I began to research the seemingly endless list of possible ways to adopt. We considered Haiti at that time (2003) but could not imagine waiting so long for our baby to come home. We attended adoption information meetings with PACT and other agencies. We also believed that someday God would call us into full time ministry and I began nursing school with the belief that I would use my skills on the mission field. We contacted our county foster care and adoptions office "just in case" an infant became available there. We attended 6 weeks of foster care training and a social worker visited our home. We were told that on average a family would wait 2 years to adopt an infant through foster care so we continued to look into other options. I was enjoying nursing school far more than expected and busy with life when we got "the call".

A social worker explained that they had an infant who would be "nearly impossible" to place but because I was a nursing student they had to "try". I was told that they had a baby boy who was "bi-racial with facial deformations, a cleft palate, severe heart defects, a feeding tube, and a genetic syndrome that causes severe learning disabilities and possibly mental retardation." I made a little list as he talked. Sean and I had discussed adopting a child who "really needed a home" but had we ever talked about all of that? My heart raced and I heard myself saying yes in a blur. I couldn't reach Sean but before I could speak with him I received the next call, "oops, it is a baby girl but everything else was correct!" How do you make that mistake?

I talked to Sean and he also felt that this was our baby. A few days later I spoke with the hospital and received medical details so I could begin researching. We prayed for her all the time. Our family mostly thought we were crazy and urged us to reconsider. We already loved her, but it would be two weeks until we could meet her.

I got the call at about 4 in the afternoon, the birth parents rights had been terminated and we had been named legal guardians. We were now able to visit her in the NICU as her parents! I had class that night and was forced to spend 4 hours doing charts and blood pressure checks at the local hospital :( but at 10PM I was finally free and ran to my car! Sean was waiting for me and we drove the 90 miles to the hospital where our daughter waited (in far less time than it really should take). A nurse buzzed us in and we scrubbed up and put on the gowns required for the NICU. We were so nervous! So many unknowns and yet we were really meeting our daughter!

Part 2 tomorrow!

They really do come home!

While I have heard names and seen pictures of international adoptive families bringing their kids home...Just this Sunday I saw it in real life! A couple from our church, Rome and Marie finally brought home their beautiful daughter Kianna from the Philippines. They waited two long years but finally brought her home. She looks healthy and adorable and is the picture of hope for all of us who are still waiting!

It was such a great encouragement to me, I know Marie was worried that the baby they had set out to adopt would be all grown up already. She had outgrown all the sets of baby clothes they had purchased and it seemed silly to look at a crib and nursery, yet when I saw her...at 2 she is still a baby. To think that there are children like her who do not have parents...babies, growing up without anyone to call mommy or daddy. The wait IS long, and the finances ARE difficult, but these kids need families! My sacrifice is nothing compared to the life of an orphan.

Congratulations Rome and Marie!

Last fundraising post for a while :)

I promise to get back to some more interesting thoughts, rants, and new pictures but I have one last fundraising possibility that I need to mention!

I am selling a house. My parents bought it as an investment and Sean did the remodeling. I LOVE this house, in fact it was initially difficult for me to imagine selling it. I have come to realize that the house we own is a better choice for our family. It has been fun getting it all cleaned up and putting in a few special touches. I really wanted to paint the kitchen but was vetoed :) Selling this home would put us well on our way to having the adoption paid for. Even if you are not interested...take a look at the website I created for it. I hope it shows how neat it really is. http://www.3037linck.com/

As long as we are talking about real estate... Sean and my Dad built an unbelievable set of 5 condos on the fox river. They are the dream project my Dad always wanted to build. Sean has spent at least 40 hours a week there every week for the past 2 years. (Ask him about hauling all that rock!) They are ready to be sold and selling just one would pay for all of our adoption costs and our own planned home remodel! Of course a realtor is involved in the selling of these condos, however one unit has been reserved and can be sold by any member of our family or the company. I am working on a better web site, but for now the realtor has them listed at http://www.micoleyandcompany.com/Nav.aspx/Page=%2fListNow%2fProperty.aspx%3fPropertyID%3d1560414%26

Thanks for staying with me. Even if you cannot think of anyone who needs a house, could you pray God's supernatural wisdom for me as I try to sell these homes? Someone is going to buy them, which means someone will get credit for selling them! It might as well be me!

Sounds like Music

Not adoption related, but yesterday my very dramatic daughter Anna found out
She has gotten the part of Gretl in The Sound of Music!

Performances will not be until April and will be held at St. Norberts College, however she will also be singing in the choir for the Holiday Pops concert at the Weidner Center on December 8th. What an awesome opportunity!

When I asked her how her first rehearsal for the Sound of Music went, she said it was "Just perfect because her place is right out in front".

I grew up in public schools and worried that she might miss out out on things like drama, choir, and other activities. So far, homeschooling seems to present far more of these opportunities! She is only six years old and acting in her second play on a real stage and will be singing in a huge choir on stage at the type of prestigious venue many people have not even visited as a spectator!

The Sound of Music is being put on by "Performers Workshop" where Anna belongs to a home school drama group. She is learning singing, acting, stage direction as well as what goes on back stage.

So far this is my favorite part about home schooling. Aside from the obvious math, science, reading type stuff we are doing a unit study on Haiti to prepare for the Geography Fair, Anna loves Fridays because our home school group has PE and she gets to play soccer for a full 2 hours! Melissa is doing gymnastics and proving that while speech may be a challenge her tiny size allows her to run and jump and climb and roll with amazing skill and confidence. I love that they are learning in such creative ways and building confidence in who they are.

So sad...

I have been living on a hope...I had plans to travel to Haiti this month. I was traveling with another person who had access to the orphanage and said she could use help for a few days. I was going to meet my daughter, hold her. I knew it would give me renewed strength and energy for the work ahead. I should have booked the ticket by now but didn't know if I had the $$ until last night. I had been given dates, times and flight numbers.
Today I found out there will be no trip and no plans for one. I don't really know what to think. At least I don't own a useless non-refundable trip to Haiti.

Holiday Pies!

As I look around at the beautiful fall colored leaves and smell the changing crisp fall air...I know that in just a blink the holidays will be here. It is an ever present reminder...almost pressing on me that one of our family is not at home.

So, I plan to take it out on my kitchen! I will be selling pies for Thanksgiving! (or any other time between now and then)I really do love to bake and have received many compliments on my pies and cheesecakes. So, rather than buy frozen or go to a bakery (or even make your own :) please consider ordering your pies from me this year! Choices will be as follows:

Apple: My brother claims I make the best apple pie in the whole world. a yummy old-fashioned double-crust apple pie. $8.00

Pumpkin: The classic. Made from fresh pumpkins not canned! $6.00

Pecan: Gooey and crunchy and salty - Oh My! $10.00

Jenee's triple delight Thanksgiving pie: For those who simply cannot choose! Three layers, New York style cheesecake, pumpkin custard, and a top layer of pecan pie. All in a buttery crust. Really, it's worth it. $14.00

Cheesecake: Three varieties: Plain, cranberry, or pumpkin. Cheesecakes are baked in a 10 inch springform pan with home-made spiced crusts. I promise they are among the best! Picture above is my own vanilla bean - available on request with or with decorations. $12.00

Organic requests will be delightfully honored, however an additional ingredient charge will be added. Delivery is possible in the local area for a fee. Special requests can be honored. For obvious reasons I cannot ship! Three day advance notice needed for all orders.

The fund raising continues...

Thank you to everyone who donated or purchased items from our garage sale! We made about $300, not bad! We still have some of the larger items listed on craigslist so it may be even better.

We have some new fun ideas in the works...so stay tuned! Holiday fundraisers to come!

Fund Raising Day!

Today we are having a big garage sale to help with adoption costs. Anna will be selling lemonade and cookies (and getting a great math lesson in the process). We have quite a bit of stuff and a few appliances and bigger $$ items. Many of our church families made donations as well as some of the ladies in my Mom's group. Every little bit helps!

So, if you know me personally and live in the area...please stop by! I am still taking donations today and who knows, you might just find that *whatever* you have been looking for!

Anna's Prayer Pins

Anna really wanted to help us raise money to bring Sophia home. She has been making jewelry in the colors of the Haitian flag! We have handed out a lot of these little pins as reminders to pray for Sophia and for all the orphans who need families! Please consider ordering one of Anna's pins to help us with our findraising. More of her jewelry will be posted soon!

Suggested donation: $1.00 plus .50 for first class shipping.
You can use the paypal button on the home page, make sure addresses are included!

September picture

Each month when the new pictures come out I search through them, looking for her sweet face, afraid that somehow this month I will not recognize her or that there will not be a picture. Then I will flip from one block of pictures to the next and spot her. The fear disappears and I search her face, each part of her picture for the answers to all my questions. What is she like? When will I hold her? Is she OK? The pictures don't say. No one does. Oh, sure, updates come occasionally. Another parent visits and they say "I saw her and she looks great" or maybe even send me a great picture or the ever-so-precious video. Yet, my questions go un-answered. What child ever acted naturally when a camera was shoved in their face? Sometimes I almost forget her, as if she was something I made up in my head and not a real person. Sometimes I wake up from a dream of being with her and my soul aches to have her home. The pain sometimes hurts deep in my stomach, makes me nauseous. Today is one of those days.

Our newest picture, September 2007

More posts soon...I promise!

I have been very busy with the start of school, Etc. but I have lots to post. For today, however I had to share this. This Dr. visited our Orphanage with the last missions trip.

A Journey Through the World's Most Miserable SlumWhat Next for Haiti's Cite Soleil?By Dr. JOHN CARROLL, MDOn February 7 I looked over the balcony rail from the second floorof our clinic in Cite Soleil. Five UN (MINUSTAH) tanks werepatrolling the streets directly below us and passing by slowly insingle file. Their guns were not aimed at the clinic like usual as Itook their picture. A TV cameraman from Channel 4 in London took along video of them as they passed and waved.Despite the friendly waves, two days later, in the early morninghours, 700 UN forces, mainly Brazilian, entered the slum and had afierce gun battle with a gang in the Boston region of Cite Soleil.The shooting lasted for hours. All the main roads into the Soleilwere blocked by tanks. People were allowed out on foot and were notallowed to return until late afternoon when the shooting hadstopped.The UN was successful in destroying a prominent gang leaders base inan area of Soleil known as Boston but was unsuccessful in capturingor killing him. Apparently one civilian was killed and two UNsoldiers were injured.The gangs in Soleil shot thousands of rounds of ammunition at theUN. The gangs have M-14's, 9 mm weapons, 38's, American-stylemachine guns, and hand grenades. I have seen these weapons up closeand personal and they appear even more menacing in the hands ofshirtless, 19-year-old young men, who are hungry and on the run-being hunted by UN forces. The UN tanks have 50 mm machine guns andon Friday they had a remote control airplane circling Soleil.Cite Soleil is considered one of the poorest and most dangerousslums in the world. The UN has peacekeeping forces in many parts ofthe world, but from what I understand, Haiti is the only countrywhere the UN has a peace keeping mission which has taken on heavilyarmed gangs.The shooting and war that is occurring in Soleil now is horrific.Hundreds of thousands of people are trapped inside this slum payinghomage to the gangs and their soldiers or are running from thebullets from the MINUSTAH tanks and automatic weapons. However, theviolence hurts the people of Soleil in so many other ways than justdeath and injury from bullets.Father Tom Hagan has a program here in Haiti called Hands Together.Father Tom has eight schools in Soleil, a medical clinic, and feeds10,000 children each day in this massive slum.On Friday, he was unable to enter Soleil in a vehicle and so hewalked in and was able to free up food for eight thousand peoplefrom his two main feeding centers. A radio station in Cite Soleilmade announcements that food would be given out as usual to hisstudents in those two areas.One of Father Tom's centers is in the Bois Neuf area of Soleil.After freeing this food, Father walked down the middle of the mainroad in Soleil, saying the rosary, and opened his other feedingcenter at Soleil 24. There was no traffic except UN tanks. Forty UNtanks were inside and outside of Soleil at that point.Father's schools were closed because his teachers could not get inthe slum. And with the shooting, parents were afraid to send theirkids to school. It says quite a bit when Haitian parents are toofrightened to send their kids to school because that means noeducation and probably very little food that day for their children.People delivering food into Soleil were not allowed in on February7, and so the women who sell in the main market had nothing to selleven if they could have during the barrage of bullets. This weekend,there has been very little food for hundreds of thousands of people.In an area of Soleil called the Wharf, The Daughters of Charity havesix sisters who do incredible work. They have a medical clinic thatsees several hundred children a day for acute medical problems. Theyalso have a pediatric vaccination program and a malnutrition programfor 50 very malnourished babies. They provide two hot meals forthese babies Monday through Friday. While the babies are napping,their mothers participate in a well-organized sewing program,designed to teach them a skill.The sisters also have a school in Soleil near the clinic that has600 students. Each day the sisters provide 1,200 hot meals for thekids in their schools and programs.None of this happened on Friday. The medical clinic was closed. Theschool was closed. The malnutrition program was closed. Nobody gotfed. And most of these people had no food in their homes thisweekend either.One of the sisters had a scheduled vacation to her home country inSouth America and had to walk out of the slum with her suitcase inher hand amid the gun fire. She was picked up outside the slum by adriver who took her to the airport.A friend of ours who runs an orphanage four miles from Soleil wasbesieged by twenty women from Soleil who had snuck out of the slumwith their babies asking her to take their kids, feed them, cleanthem, and put them up for adoption. Our friend had to deny theirrequests because she already has over 100 children in the orphanageand absolutely no where to put these kids or give them adequatecare. They all had to return to Soleil.Today, Sunday, Father Tom picked me up and we went to Soleil in hisjeep. He says mass on Sunday mornings at Saint Ann's which is in theback part of Soleil called Soleil 17.We easily entered Soleil from route National One. There were no UNtanks blocking the entrance.The main street in Soleil seemed quiet with fewer people. However,the machan-women street merchants-were selling at their market nearBois Neuf. However, it did not appear that there was much food tosell.We went down Soleil 1 and turned left on Soleil 17. We saw noMINUSTAH tanks or our way to church. St Ann's is one block down thestreet on the right. The church is a large structure on a corner.There were no other cars around and gang members from that area saton the corner and wandered in and out of church. Every one seemedunconcerned.The altar in the church is simple but there is a beautiful crucifiedBlack Jesus on the cross painted on the wall behind the altar. Redblood pours from his hands and the wound on his right side. Therewere about 150 people at mass, mostly children and elderly ladies.After Mass, I spoke with the local gang leader and his soldiers and,they all claimed they were hungry and the thousands of people theycontrol are hungry. They also think that if they lay down theirarms, MINUSTAH will arrest them, turn them over to the HaitianNational Police, and they will be tortured and die in the HaitianPenitentary.The look on their faces is hard, cold, and scared. I asked them whatthey thought MINUSTAH was going to do next, and the gang leadershrugged his shoulders, looked at the ground, and said he didn'tknow.Father Tom hopes to be able to bring in dry food into Soleiltomorrow, which will be bags of rice and beans, and distribute itwith the help of the gang soldiers.Father Tom and I then walked through the slum. While we were on apaved road, two UN tanks quietly came down the street. The soldierswaved at us. Their guns were not pointed at the homes or people orus. The tranquility had to be appreciated by the worn out populationof Soleil.We walked into the back neighborhoods where we were surrounded bychildren and one gang member continued to walk with us. A ladyapproached and asked me if I would examine her daughter.I turned around and walked back with her and stepped into her shack.Lying on a bed was her 19 year old daughter who was shot in theback, abdomen, and left arm by MINUSTAH on December 27 as she satoutside her shanty. She was hospitalized at St. Catherine's, a smallhospital in Soleil, where she underwent abdominal surgery and washospitalized for 8 days.She was lying on a small bed with perspiration covering her foreheadin this hellhole. She complained of abdominal pain and said she isnot able to eat. Her surgical dressing is still in place and shesaid she has an appointment tomorrow at St. Catherine's.Her 3 month old baby girl was lying at her feet. The baby had nothad milk in four days because she says she has no breast milk andthey have no powdered milk in the one room shack which serves astheir home. I saw the empty tin can of Alaska powdered milk next toher bed. They have been giving the baby some boiled water and mashedup cookies in water. The baby seemed fairly content under thecircumstances.I told the 19 year old mom and her mother that I would find the babysome powdered milk and bring it to them.Father and I continued on and arrived in the Boston section of CiteSoleil and then crossed over to another district of Soleil calledBeleco. I went over and talked to a Beleco gang of soldiers. Theyimmediately asked me what I was going to do for them. They werearmed and are the soldiers of the escaped gang leader Evans who ishiding in the slum. They said they are hungry also.People are loyal to Evans. Even though he kills and extorts money,he still feeds thousands of people. He is hidden among them now andno one will say where he is. His name isn't even mentioned. However,the people of the slum fear him and his soldiers less than they doMINUSTAH which shoot to kill from their big white tanks that passthrough their neighborhoods.While I was talking to the soldiers of Evans' gang, a 40 year oldlady with a low voice asked me if I would check her mother, who wasvery sick. As I was walking to her shack in the maze that neverseems to end in Soleil, I stumbled onto a lady selling te (earth)which are circular 5 inch diameter pies made of mud with butter andsalt mixed in. They are baked in the sun. They are made right in theslum to stem people's hunger. They offered me one which I declined.A pretty 20 year old girl took a big bite of one of these toxicpatties, chewed it up and swallowed it while she smiled at me.I followed the lady with the sick mother and arrived at their shackabout 30 yards from the road.. Her 62 year old mother lay on thefloor next to a bed lying on her right side. She was covered withflies and groaning softly. Her family obviously could not give herany significant care. They said she was not eating and could notstand.When I examined her on the floor, she was lethargic and had a hardmass in her abdomen that seemed to be originating from her liver.The family showed me some worthless medication she was taking.The family carried her to Father Tom's vehicle and we loaded her inback. As we left Soleil, the gang members from Boston waved andsmiled as they walked down the road. We took her to a home for dyingand abandoned adults run by the Missionaries of Charity in adifferent part of PAP. This Sisters graciously accepted her and herdeath will be easier now than it would been on her floor in Soleil.So what to do----This is all a dynamic, tricky business. The focus is on the gangsand their soldiers and the UN soldiers. However, these two fightingfactions represent only a miniscule of the people affected. Hundredsof thousands of people's lives and well being are at stake now. Whatwill this week bring? There is no tomorrow for Soleil unless soundand beneficent decisions are made within the next few days.The UN should bring in massive amounts or rice and beans and startfeeding the starving people of Cite Soleil. tomorrow morning(Monday).They should do all they can to provide clean water. Theyshould build roads and create a sewer system for Soleil.MINUSTAH should stop their indiscriminate shooting in densely packedneighborhoods of innocent people. They need to get down off theirtanks and walk into the maze of poverty with real human beingsliving inside.MASH-type medical clinics need to be set up by MINUSTAH, which couldtake care of the vast majority of medical problems found in the slumnow.Where is the Catholic Church? Catholic leaders from Haiti and allover the Americas need to come here, walk through Soleil and visitthe people. They need to have meetings with MINUSTAH and the gangleaders. The Church needs to promote meaningful dialogue and changenow for the poor that are begging for their help.Will the people continue to starve as they offer their babies up foradoption or will meaningful dialogue occur? If people don't starttalking tomorrow morning in Haiti's slum and agree to stop all ofthe violence, the despair and death in Soleil hasn't even started.Dr. John Carroll, an American doctor who works in some of the mostoppressed areas of Haiti, can be reached through the DyinginHaitiwebsite.

A video of our beautiful girl.

You can see a little video of her at:

http://www.onetruemedia.com/shared?p=36d7a78e743c2b07650ae8&skin_id=701&utm_source=otm&utm_medium=email>

Pray For Haiti this storm season!

Catagory 4 hurricane called "Dean", it must be awful there right now. Please pray our orphanage is spared from damage and the people are safe.

August 2007 update picture!

This month I cried when I opened this picture. She looks older, and she has a runny nose. I want her home, sometimes I feel like my heart will break from not being able to care for her. In moments of great frustration, I wonder what it would cost to live in Haiti for a while...(with the rest of my family, of course) just to be with my daughter, just so that she could get to know me and and could wrap her up and tell her it is all going to be ok.

Our home study has hit a few snags, they are things we can overcome but the delays are painful. Every extra step is us costing time, time that we will not be able to have her home. We expected to submit our Dossier to Haiti (The last step in our hands) in October, but now it is looking for like February since we have to wait for our 2008 tax return (2007 does not show enough income) We also will need to finish some work on our home that we did not expect would need to be done. We had such high hopes of bringing her home next summer. We know God is in control, he knew our income, none of this is a surprise to him.

I have to admit I am struggling a bit. The reasons are obvious, my prayer time, time in the word, and time of sacrifice have not been near what they should. I have been here before but I feel like my prayers are hitting the ceiling, my praise is half-hearted. I do not want to be here, I argue with myself because on the one hand I feel like it has been a long time since I heard from God and on the other I know that even when I sit down to pray for take out my bible that my thoughts stray and I find it hard to concentrate. I wish I could remember how I have worked through this before... I genuinely want God's direction, His desires but my every step and action seems to betray that. I want to shout out...What is wrong with me??? Funny...its not a faith issue! I know God cares about me! It is not a belief issue...my belief is strong! It is more like when you sit down with a good friend and then don't know what to say. It feels awful. When I am out of touch with God it affects my marriage, my relationship with my kids, my desire to help people, my desire to simply do the things that are right.

I have plenty of blessings to be positive about! Even her adoption is a positive thing. I am not sad about the events of life or looking for sympathy... I would guess most of us, as Christians have felt ar from God, even at times when it was not logical. I know I have been amazed how, even in these times of spiritual low-ness God has come through for me in some really big ways. It makes me feel humble, guilty, undeserving, but it also demonstrates just how much God loves me. It is the flip side to the question of why sometimes we can pray and fast, and read the word, and do everything it seems God would desire and yet have worldly disappointments!

Still, I want to be on a flight to Haiti. It is not that I do not love and appreciate my children at home, I do! But one is missing, just as if she had been taken from me. The emotions are unexpected, and sometimes I am so overwhelmed by them. It does not make sense.

This week I am planning Anna and Zaia's birthday parties. Out of the blue it hit me that Sophia will have her next birthday at the orphanage, with little fanfare and certainly without the growing stack of birthday cards and daily arriving gifts. She will be five, all by her self.

Cafe Press has Haitian Princess t-shirts. See... she is famous already!!!

Something fun...

After 3 really long and rather serious posts, I thought I would direct you over to something sweet... My littlest chef...Zaia. (just click on the previous text)

If we were not adopting from Haiti...

I love that we are adopting from Haiti. I love that is is close to the US, that we should be able to visit, and that some day, if Sophia is interested in seeing her country we would be able to take her there.

However, IF we were not adopting from Haiti, or IF someday we wanted to adopt again (gasp, Sean would wring my neck for even mentioning it) I would want to adopt from Hong Kong.

Yesterday I was going through some papers from our agency and the country information was listed. I was curious and looked up some of the information.

While China is flooded with American adoption applications and adoptions can take 3-4 years and cost as much as $40,000, Hong Kong is a place few Americans have considered. In the past few years adoptions from Hong Kong averaged 20-30 a year vs. the more than 6000 a year adopted from China.

The children available from Hong Kong are rarely infants, they are children currently in the Hong Kong foster system. This means that these children have already been passed up for adoption by family members and other Hong Kong/Chinese nationals. Nearly all the children have some type of special need, in fact non-Asian couples will not be considered for adoption of healthy kids!

The special needs vary and can range from surgically correctable issues such as cleft-palate and club foot, to cerebral palsy, to the many, many children available with down syndrome.

The reasons I would like to adopt from Hong Kong are:

These children have very little chance of finding homes. Their own country has determined they are not fit to be adopted by nationals of Hong Kong or China!

Kong Kong adoptions are very inexpensive when compared to other programs. Our agency estimates $10-13,000 including all paperwork and the home study! There are many grants available through agencies that place special needs kids, often as much as $5-6,000.

I first knew I wanted to adopt internationally after visiting a friend in Mongolia. When I returned home we found out that adopting from Mongolia would be somewhat difficult and very expensive although Holt international does have a Mongolian adoption program. We ultimately adopted through the US foster care system but knew an international adoption was likely in our future. Hence this adoption from Haiti now. What an education it has been!

If you are considering adoption, please take the time to learn about where, and more importantly, who you are adopting from. Do not assume that taking a child from a poor country is always in the best interest of every child. Children who are without parents or living in orphanages need homes and families! There are many programs where you can adopt these children, including healthy infants. There a also a number of new programs that essentially operate the same as domestic adoptions. American families apply to the agency and create a folder to advertise themselves to birth mothers. Then agency personnel in the country of choice seek out poor pregnant women (and often their husbands) and show them these folders with pictures of the life they could "provide" for their children. These families may live in small houses with dirt floors or may have never ridden in a car. When they are shown pictures of a family in a 2 story house with 2 new cars parked in front of green manicured park-like lawns they suddenly feel that they must give their child this great opportunity in America, even if it means never seeing or having contact with their child again. Recently I read a post on an online board that stated "I chose international adoption because I did not want to have to deal with birth-parents". All children have "birth parents" some are simply easier to ignore.

Perhaps you agree, or perhaps you feel that if a family is willing to give up their child that child will be better with another family. I disagree. We may know that life in America has its own troubles, but many people in developing countries believe that America is a place where no misfortune exists. It is easy to see why, despite all our whining about health care, every American has access to 24 hour emergency care and no one is ever turned away in the case of serious injury or illness. Our hospitals and clinics are clean and generally well staffed. Most American families own at least 2 cars, what we consider a modest wage for a year may be well over what some families earn in a lifetime! These families may daily battle poverty, illness, violence, lack of education and live in a single room with a dozen other family members. Does this somehow make us better parents? Does it mean that they shouldn't have the joy of raising children? We are very quick to assume these children are "unwanted" but this is based on an American understanding of culture and values!

In my opinion it is unethical to advertise adoption by American parents. Were we being totally honest, along with the pretty pictures, financial documents and promises of riches and education unattainable to the population being targeted, perhaps we should include our divorce statistics, ridiculously high debt ratios, or the fact that seemingly half of Americans take some sort of anti-depressant to cope with our "perfect" world. I am extremely grateful to be an American. I cry at the National anthem and songs like God Bless America, however I do not believe there is value in using propaganda to provide children for the booming American adoption business.

Some of these same issues exist withing the domestic adoption business of the US, and in no way do I have the solution for either problem. I also do not want to deter families from adopting the children around the world who are currently waiting for families! I know this post will be very controversial and I hope I have not hurt any feelings. I believe adoption of orphans is so important, whether they are international or within our own foster care system! But I also think we need to look deep inside ourselves to discover the motives for these adoptions. It is OK to want a baby! Adoption has been the best answer to matching children who need homes with families who want children since the beginning of time. It is the corruption and coercion I object to. So, if and when you plan to adopt please sincerely research who has given up this child so that you may call them yours.

Racism, part 2. The lighter stuff...

Children are not by nature "racist" at least not by the the negative, judgemental connotations the word brings up. That is not to say children are not curious about differences! So, I thought I would share some humorous moments from our house.

Recently we were talking about Haiti. Anna, as usual, was asking dozens of questions. She was very interested in the differences in the way Haitians live vs. Americans. After talking for about 15 minutes Zaia spoke up. "Do they have heads"? She asked?!?!?!?! I stared at her and blinked..."The people of Haiti"? I asked? Her big innocent eyes looked at me, waiting sincerely for a response. After assuring her that the people did have heads and were really just like us, she continued to ask questions. "Do they have bones?... Toes? Do they wear clothes? Eat food?

Anna has been most curious about Sophia's hair. We recently were looking at a website to order some beads and accessories for the girls at the orphanage. The site had pages of ideas for styling "ethnic" hair. (I don't really get why that term is used...) Anna loved some of the styles and asked if I could make her hair like that. While some could be adapted, her hair is corn-silk fine and blond! So, when we said hello to a family at swimming lessons (that we had not previously met) a few days later she was overwhelmed by curiosity and dug her fingers into their daughters black hair!

Anna has a strong heart for missions and is very, very curious about the world. This, however often translates instead to "cultural insensitivity"by most of who are primed to see it that way. She makes innocent comments that have been misunderstood more than once. I was very grateful to a man from Africa who took time to answer her question "Kaluba? Why are you SO black"? and very uncomfortable when she asked another little girl "Are you Chinese or something, because you don't look like your Mom". (The girl and her mother were insulted and gave me dirty looks every class after that) She has also pointed out "Look Mom, this is the littlest old lady I have ever seen" once (running up and touching her) and yelled "Hola!" to a child on the playground who looked possibly Hispanic. While visiting the Atlanta Zoo she exclaimed loudly "There sure are a lot of Black people here!"

While somehow I must teach her about appropriate ways to ask her questions, I do not really want to quell her curiosity. Her observations and questions are valid, in fact I would rather she grows up appreciating the differences in many cultures. It would be a lamentable error to teach my children to ignore the customs, dress, food, or even appearance of those who seem to be "different" than us. However it would be far more regrettable to allow my children to believe that differences in appearance define the way that a person lives or believes.

Racism.

This post goes round and round in my head. Then I am not sure if I am ready to say what I mean, I fear perhaps it will sound disconnected and rambling. So I am just going to go for it.

I do not know if I have ever really known of or believed in racism. I'm white (shocking, I know :) and of course I know about the history of our country. I have read books, both fiction and truth that spoke of the many battles involved in securing equal rights. I have heard my share of racial slurs and jokes. I know there are statistics that tell us white men still have an advantage in the work place and the stereotypes are rampant. But I don't think it ever made sense to me.

Growing up I went to schools with kids who were white. (Sean on the other hand was one of 3 white kids!) Looking back I know that among my closer friends one boy's parents were from Thailand, one girl was adopted from Guatemala and another guy was Native American. The mere fact that those details stand out says volumes. However, at the time I do not think we noticed or cared outside of school assignments that asked us to identify our backgrounds. My father often used terms that sounded awful and racist, however I never once witnessed him acting out that prejudice. He was a business man and through his associates I was introduced to the food and culture of people from around the world. I knew that despite his insensitive comments he really respected (or at times detested) people as individuals.

Once I left my parents home I moved to Madison, WI. Madison is a wonderful multicultural city, and while there is no doubt the population is less diverse than some cities there is an abundance of equality and acceptance. Never was a person's race an issue with my friends, peers or in any job. Pokes and digs were exchanged quite fairly!

So why talk about his now? I guess I am getting an education, and maybe it is better now than later. Of course we knew that a Haitian child would "stand out" in our family. However, so does our first adopted daughter. We have gotten used to the questions "Why doesn't she look like you" or "Where is she from" (While I answer honestly about her adoption, Sean takes pleasure in giving random answers that leave people confused) and I expected the same would be true.

Many people have asked questions. Some valid, some very rude. I have learned that many people, including Christians categorize other humans by preconceived ideas about the color (and hue) of their skin! I probably should not be shocked by this, but I really am. A few people have asked what "The people look like" in Haiti. I don't quite know what to say. I know they mean race, but, what to the people in Germany look like? How about Mexico, Australia?

The issue most often raised to us is if it is fair to her to be adopted by a white family. I am not sure if it is "fair". Our family visited a "black church" while we were looking for a church in a new town. It was intentional, we had heard the church referred to as "The Black Church". We were unprepared however for the record-scratching-to-a-stop pause when we, a noticeably large white family walked in the door. We smiled and introduced ourselves and ultimately enjoyed the service quite a bit. As we left a woman asked us why we would come there. Sean said "we were just looking for a good church". I think that is what people mean by "fair". We do not look the same. She will occasionally have to explain why her parents and siblings do not look like her. If she does experience racism we will not be able to speak from previous experience, there will be misconceptions. Without a doubt there are things that will be difficult.

All that said, who is to say a child from Russia or the Ukraine would not experience these same things!!! Since when do all white people look so generic than any white child, chosen at random could be assumed to be genetically mine? People have suggested we could have adopted an Asian child. Sure, they would look just like my blond haired, green eyed daughter. We would never have to explain an adoption. Sorry, sarcastic anger taking over....

Our daughter Sophia has lost both of her natural parents. She has scars from living an extremely difficult young life. Many, many children like her will not live to be adopted. That is what is unfair. That her absolutely beautiful dark skin would cause someone to turn her away, is more "unfair" than I can deal with. The rest is just life.

To share some experiences:

while speaking with a woman I mentioned we were adopting from Haiti. She looked uncomfortable and then replied "I have a neighbor from the Philippines". Confused, I asked if her neighbor was adopting. She said. "No, I just know her". And what??? Both Islands? We both dropped it.

An area family is adopting from Russia. They were having a fundraiser selling fireworks for the 4th of July. I wanted to support them so we found their tent and bought some things. We were the only people there so I shared that we also were adopting internationally. They seemed excited and asked where from. When I replied "Haiti" everything changed. The man took two steps back and said he could never have "adopted a child from that climate". I didn't get it so I told him that we were hoping to bring her home is the summer so the cold and snow were not such a shock! He stared blankly at me and I wondered what I missed. I figured it out on the way home.

My husband was speaking with a couple who we knew had adopted their son. He told them we were adopting again and they were happy. Sean mentioned Haiti and the man stopped him, telling him that if he had known we wanted a "black child" he could have gotten us one for $500.

I could go on and on, there are worse stories. I never knew! Just this week I read of a star college football player who is receiving threats because he plans to marry his cheerleader girlfriend who is white. A white family who adopted a Haitian child received similar threats. How is it possible that this still exists? Between multi-racial marriages and international adoptions, mixed race families are hardly unusual today. I guess the fact the the world could condemn people for something so inconsequential doesn't surprise me, but the fact that church going Christians can behave this way, and not even know it is wrong. I don't get it.

Haiti? It is a country... South of Florida...

I have always liked history and geography. I like to think I have at least a general sense of where most places in the world are. I also have a heart for missions... so I really want to know where people are talking about!

(Don't get me wrong, The first time I heard missionaries speak about Myanmar I had to look it up and the mention of Kirabati or Eritrea during the Olympic opening ceremonies causes me to scratch my head and realize just how little I know about the whole world around me. )

Perhaps it is because of the time that I lived in South Florida, or maybe it is because my Dad spends a lot of time watching the South Florida/ Caribbean weather and fishing reports; but I have just assumed most people know what/where Haiti is. At least a good general idea.

Tonight a woman asked me if I had 4 or 5 kids. I had 4 kids with me, and she may have seen me previously with my (now adult) step-daughter. I laughed and told her both were true. We have 4 children at home and are in the process of adopting a fifth from Haiti.

She repeated the question, so...do you have 4 or 5 then? Then it hit me, the issue I cannot get used to. There are Americans who have never heard of Haiti... I backed up and explained... we are adopting a daughter but she is not home yet because we are adopting her from a country called Haiti. It is an Island off the Southern coast of Florida. I received a very blank stare. She asked "Why do you have a child there?" I guess the answer "She was born there" did not sit all that well with her because she looked even more confused and I had to walk away.

It happens every day. Usually it is because my daughter Anna tells everyone about her sister in Haiti, but I hear the craziest questions!

Where is Haiti?
What is Haiti?
Is it a country?
Where is it?
Is that near China?
Were they part of Russia?
Is Haiti a state? (My personal favorite!)
What do they look like? (post to follow about this!!!)
I thought it was Cuba that was south of Florida...

I am astounded at the very large number of people who are so oblivious the countries so very near our own. I do not expect that most of us could correctly label all of the Caribbean Islands. But I do think we ought to know more than that Jamaica is a nice place to get a sun tan! (It might be very fun to stand at the Jamaica Air terminal and ask people to point out on a map the place they were traveling to...)

I once read that a staggering number of US students were unable to correctly point out the Atlantic Ocean on a map, and that bothers me! When I was in high school we had to take a mandatory 3 semesters of Wisconsin history and government, but only one semester of world history.

So, without ranting a whole bunch or becoming mean and sarcastic... Here is a map.

At the top is Florida, Miami and key west are labeled. Haiti is right in the middle on the Island of Hispaniola. The portion of the island that makes up the country of Haiti is said to be the "Jewel of the Caribbean" the most beautiful place among these beautiful tropical islands. How sad that it would also be the poorest country in the western hemisphere.

So, to those of you who have wondered which island, and those of you who wondered which continent... Now you know! (It is in North America, BTW)

Next thing done.

I have completed and assembled all the paperwork for our agency. I need one thing notarized, but that is easy enough to do tomorrow before I mail them all. It is a big step, but it also means the beginning of the real work. The dossier list (all the papers that go to Haiti including the home study) is not exactly difficult but it will take some odd chasing around of papers were sure no one would ever ask for in a million years!

My Kids favorite picture:

My kids love this picture. I think it foreshadows afternoons chasing each other around the house and yard. It just shows a playfulness that they could identify right away. Anna broke into delighted laughter as soon as I turned the computer around. "Look Mom! Sophia knows how to play leviathan!" Zaia simply thought she was "Being a monster" and Melissa followed suit by raising her arms and growling back before giggling and running off. I love it, LOVE IT!

The all new For His Glory Video!!!

Make photo slide shows at www.OneTrueMedia.com

For His Glory Newsletter

I tried this link and it does seem to work. Let me know if anyone has trouble!

http://f1.grp.yahoofs.com/v1/kKCmRltDrgb_yBOoJetDDldP3Q3gHwn2bn0J8Fz7P8cuEy6psaFLOD3YthYASw494RSWga0hKfcKHKVcZSIfnRpBU6uhgoqR2uhuIT_mS31sBEer/FHG_Jul_Newsletter.pdf

Monday's failures...

If I were being graded on my Christan or responsible behavior today I would have failed completely. It has not been a terribly unhappy day, but certainly and unsettling one!

I agreed to fast Mondays. Sunday night an unexpected out of town guest arrived. In caring for my guest I made special lunch/ dinner plans and didn't remember the fast until late afternoon. I then felt very guilty.

Monday night I teach a childbirth class. I was deep into making a special Indian dish when... unexpectedly my students began to arrive! My whole house smelled like curry!

While teaching my class I remembered that as "Crisis care coordinator" in our church I was supposed be at a local hospital (at just that moment) praying for a woman after her surgery. I was able to send Sean in my place but DUH!!!

My guest asked if my children were done in the bathroom so that she could shower. I then remembered that earlier in the day I had sprayed the walls and tub with bathroom cleaner but gotten distracted and never returned to it!

I mis-remembered the measurements for Joe's bedroom and bought 45 feet of wallpaper border. The room measures 46 feet. It was on clearance, there is no more. Time to be creative I guess.

I have tried to put up a new video here about our orphanage. It comes in two easy to use or post formats. At this time I cannot get either to work or post.

Hopefully Tuesday will be a much more successful day!

This is What its all about!

Ok, not exactly about adoption...

Tonight near the end of church Joe was getting tired of sitting and began to fight for his freedom. Prayer was beginning and so was the worship team. I walked a few minutes with a squirming 18 month old boy in arms and gratefully redirected him to the worship music that was getting louder as prayer concluded.

Sing Joe! I encouraged. He looked at me and just as I prepared myself for him to yell or scream to get down he began to sing. Quietly at first, at then with more confidence he sang "Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus"! I applauded him with tears in my eyes. He gets it! Despite the name of "Jesus" not being in the actual song we were singing... he got it. At worship time we sing about Jesus!

Keeping 4 little ones in church each week is a challenge, but one we feel we must succeed at. I do not mind nursery, and my kids have enjoyed occasional "children's church" very much, however I believe what they have had to learn sitting next to us week by week is more valuable.

On the practical side, my children know how to sit quietly for an hour or more when needed! This has come in handy when forced to visit the social security office, DMV, or other locations where sitting quietly is the only option. It has also helps when our pastor insists both of us attend an important meeting for which no childcare can be found.

While the practical lessons have good benefit, it is for the spiritual lessons I feel they need to be in service.

Let me digress a minute... Our church has a good children's ministry. We are blessed to have congregation where the children outnumber the adults! We have teachers who are gifted in working with children and many children will hear the gospel and be led by these people who have given their time and energy (and often funds) to reach these kids. I do not want to take away from the fantastic work they do or the opportunity that this ministry provides for parents who need to hear the Word of God preached without interruption or distraction. In fact, it is not unusual for these children to lead their parents to church!

For our family we feel it is important that our children see their parents actively worship, that they see us occasionally broken before God, or raising hands in adoration. Children are famous for emulating the actions rather than the words of their parents. Most children constantly look around them trying to determine the adult characteristics and attributes they want to display. So, while services directed at toddlers, children, youth, or teens might provide a more interesting format, I fear that they do not set up an example for those children to grow and walk in to. A generation of mega churches with amazing children's ministry have produced few adults dedicated to serving Christ.

For fear of leaving out the obvious, we must also continue to demonstrate real faith in our homes. Our kids must see us pray, read the bible, live out the words we speak. It is SO scary to me! But our children are our ultimate disciples! They are, even now, serving as our apprentices and interns. I know I have failed at times, I have had to ask their forgiveness, and I am quite sure I will again. Our children do not need to see perfection, but they do need to see us serving a real God, both at home and in church.

We used to have daily worship time together and Anna has mentioned that she misses it more than once. Tonight as I tried to instruct and direct them during church worship I knew something was missing. (I was also reminded when a friend asked me to call her after she had finished her daily praise and worship time with her children!) So, with Monday's fast begins daily worship again... because ultimately: This is what it is all about! Raising children who who not only believe in God but who who have a real relationship with Jesus Christ. Children who will not have to begin learning how to serve God when they reach adulthood but who have been serving Him so long that they cannot act any other way.

2 Timothy 3:14 But you must continue in the things which you have learned and been assured of, knowing from whom you have learned them, 15 and that from childhood you have known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus.

Trip to Haiti?

We had hoped that there would be a winter trip to Haiti with our orphanage that just happened to be during the time that Sean had a break from school. We have been sort of planning for this but waiting on the details.

This week Sean's program at Southeastern University announced that they were planning a missions trip to Port Au Prince, Haiti during their Christmas break! They will be working on a number of projects including helping an orphanage (not ours).

After talking to the missions coordinator at For His Glory adoption outreach we found out that there will not be any trips scheduled this winter. So... that leaves the question... should he go with his class?

On the one hand we have to say God is providing a way. There is a trip to Haiti planned at exactly the time he wanted to go and to the city he planned to go to (not to mention getting some school credit). On the other hand we had thought he would be going with For His Glory and would have ample time to spend with Sophia and get to know her. If he goes with his class he will be very, very limited by both their schedule and our orphanage. For security reasons family can not just "drop by" whenever they feel like it! Traveling in Port Au Prince in not exactly easy and even getting from one place to another might be extremely difficult. I cannot imagine trying to take the correct tap-tap !!!

The third issue is time. Sean is leaving in a few days with his youth group to go to Mexico. They are really excited about the missions trip and many will by flying for the first time. Summer was not a good time to take off work and it caused some ill feelings with his boss. While Christmas break is not a busy construction time, we are concerned about asking off for another "missions trip". Please pray about this trip for Sean, and for the Mexico trip as well!

Fasting Mondays.

Another family adopting from For His Glory has challenged us to fast Mondays for our kids and other orphans. http://campgirdwood.blogspot.com/

I really believe in fasting, but as I prayed about fasting Mondays I looked up some verses about fasting. This really, really spoke to me:

Ezra 8:21-23 Then I proclaimed a fast there at the river of Ahava, that we might humble ourselves before our God, to seek from Him the right way for us and our little ones and all our possessions. 22 For I was ashamed to request of the king an escort of soldiers and horsemen to help us against the enemy on the road, because we had spoken to the king, saying, “The hand of our God is upon all those for good who seek Him, but His power and His wrath are against all those who forsake Him.” 23 So we fasted and entreated our God for this, and He answered our prayer.

We have done this! We have told those who doubt that we are called to adopt this child that WE KNOW God will provide a way, we know he will provide the finances, we know, without any doubt that Sophia Luc is our daughter and we are trusting Him to walk us through it. So we will fast and seek God and ask for his protection and guidance over our daughter, our finances, and all matters of this adoption!

Anyone out there want to join us?

More pictures! Such a little toddler still...

So pretty, but so sad. I want to hug her... it is frustrating sometimes!

New Pictures!!!!!!!

This is the brand new update picture for July!

(ignore the date on the pictures, they do not know how to change it)

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE that she looks happy!

Possible ads

In my efforts to raise money I have allowed ads on this page. If they are really annoying, please let me know. Otherwise, please click on them because that is how I earn $$. We'll see how worth while it is...

I have LOTS of new Sophia pictures... I'll try and get some posted tonight!

This is Sean putting in the new floor I have wanted for so long. He is a general contractor, so his days are spent doing things like this. He is an expert at tile, but pretty good at all the other stuff, like framing, concrete, cabinets, plumbing and of course, nearly any type of flooring. I know he would have rather done pretty much anything else on his day off, and that makes me all the more grateful that he would do this for me!

People often assume that because I am the person posting this blog, doing the research, paperwork, etc that I am the person leading our home. We hear a lot of those "stupid man who just does what his wife says" jokes. So I wanted to tell you just how awesome my husband is...though I'll try to stay relatively on the adoption topic.

To me it is fantastic that I married a man who has such a heart for children. While I hear all around me about women who wish their husbands would let them have more children, Sean has always sought God on this issue. He has not been afraid to have too many blessings (BTW...Great blog about Blessings here:http://gombojav.blogspot.com/search/label/blessings )

Sean is a great Dad. He has every excuse not to be! He works full time, and in the summer that often means 10 hours of hard labor outdoors. When he comes home there are outdoor chores to be done such as mowing the grass, cleaning the garage and fixing whatever has broken today. He is a full time student and it is not unusual to have 2-3 hours of homework at night. He serves in our church as youth leader, elder, deacon, and is on the board. He is preparing to take his youth group to Mexico. Yet, it is rare that he is unable to tuck the kids in at night. He greets them happily and praises their craft projects and paintings. He does not miss the little dance being done by a daughter to show off her new dress or the stomping of his son acting as a monster ready to attack. Each night he reads them the bible and blesses them before they go to sleep. I don't know where he finds the energy... but I know how much the kids appreciate him. To our kids their Daddy is the super hero,and I never want to see that change!

When we began to talk about this adoption, Sean was willing but wanted to seek God first. We agreed that I would research and report back. I knew he would listen to me, but also that he would pray and listen. When I told him of the dreams I was having about a little girl in Haiti, it was he who encouraged me to look for her. I have not ever had a prophetic dream that I know of, but somehow he knew. When I found Sophia, it was Sean who said "If we have a daughter in Haiti, then lets go get her"! I know he would rather not deal with the paperwork or the classes or the home study meetings. But he has been willing and cheerful, and I have appreciated it!

When it looked like we could not adopt Sophia, I wanted an answer so badly that I would probably have accepted another referral. We already know that because of the square footage of our house we can only adopt one child. If he had given in to me, we would have had a lot of trouble. He simply said "I will not have an Ishmael". I am glad he listens to God. I am glad he will not be pushed, it would have been easier for him to say yes. To adopt another child that needed a home, but it would not have been God's plan and we would have missed out on the huge blessing God had planned for us due only to my impatience.

We are a one income, blue collar family. Sean believes in the importance of having me at home, raising our children. He has never suggested that I ought to be bringing in money or made me feel that we did not have equal share in our home or bank account. He knows that this adoption will be financially a big challenge. We cannot commit much of our budget and we do not have significant savings. However despite the fact that we cannot always make ends meet, he has always paid his tithe, always believed that God would provide. God always has, and we believe he will provide for this adoption as well.

I am impressed over and over again at the man God provided for me. He is abundantly generous, kind, loving, a good father, provider, and husband. I thank God for him, but not enough. So today, Sean I just want everyone to know how much I love and appreciate you.